


An Ephemeral Moment Of Happiness

by theoricalTheologist



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Disturbing Themes, F/F, Gore, Happy Birthday Reiner!, Implied Sexual Content, Interactive chapter guide, M/M, Semi-Horror, Spoilers, birthday fic, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:12:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7666339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoricalTheologist/pseuds/theoricalTheologist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reiner Braun wakes up from a deep slumber the day of his twentieth birthday, to the sound of the voice of his long-life partner Bertolt Hoover, who prepared a surprise for him. His day could've turned just fine if he didn't awake with gaps in his memory, making him unable to remember anything that happened prior.</p>
<p>Spoiler level: up to chapter 83.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> I'm unfortunately two days late for the beefy boy's birthday because I didn't expect the fic to be that long. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the interactive mini-setting I've included! If you want to enjoy your experience, I suggest avoiding the "Entire Work" structure.

“Happy birthday Reiner!”  
A middle-pitched, cheerful, masculine voice brutally woke Reiner up. As he slowly but gently opened his eyelids, he tried to acknowledge his surroundings, as the picture became less and less blurry at each flutter. He could distinguish the background and a silhouette of a person. That person’s hair was as dark as their eyes. Eyes who were, in comparison to the rest of the face, incredibly small and pushed back. The prominent nose and the facial features left no doubt about the identity of the one who disturbed his sleep.

“Please, wake up!”  
As he let a groan, he could easily recognize Bertolt’s face, chirpier than usual. He took his time to raise his upper body, still heavy and limp. To keep himself up awoken, he let a loud yawn escape and stretched his arms. He could figure out he was in a room, apparently built entirely with wood, the windows located on the sides, letting summer morning sunrays going through. The cell was triangular and was propped up by wooden planks. Still numb from his slumber, Reiner greeted Bertolt, while scratching his lower back.

“Mornin’ Bertolt.”  
“Sorry.”, he paused. “I didn’t mean to wake you up so suddenly but…”  
“It’s ok.”. Reiner was rubbing his head. “Just… Where are we?”  
Bertolt stared at Reiner, in total incomprehension, “Huh?”

As Reiner began to feel the sensation of this summer’s heat, he realized he had no idea what happened the previous day, or even the day prior it. His tried to compose himself, but his memories were simply just blank at this point. He couldn't remember any sensation able to put him on track. Was he carried away by Bertolt while they were making their escape and he his memories just poofed away as he almost got himself cornered in a near-death situation in his titan? It couldn’t have be it: his clothes and Bertolt’s were too casual: neither his pants nor his tank top were torn off; the current atmosphere seemed way too peaceful, too serene to express any sign of battle aftermath.

“Wait, you… don’t remember our house?”

“Hold on. Wait-”, Reiner interrupted immediately, taken by surprise when this shocking, yet so casual answer crossed his ear ducts. “Our house? What do you mean by that?”

Bertolt was more than puzzled by Reiner’s reaction, almost as if he was trying to remind a fresh-made amnesiac “Hum, Reiner-”. He took a step back, suspecting his partner’s mind was playing him tricks again and began explaining their situation as best as he could.

“W-Well… This house… We built it if you don’t remember. Thanks to our powers as titans. We didn’t have… any family left so you practically insisted that I came with you, to start a new life.” He paused, looking at Reiner with the brightest expression on his face, filled with joy. “To which I accepted, of course.”

Reiner frowned, trying to connect Bertolt’s scenario to his version of events. He prompted his friend any detail about the conflict with the Survey Corps. “Just… What about our mission? What about Eren? What about Krista and Annie? Do you have more dirt on that?”

Bertolt widened his eyes, shocked by how wide Reiner’ gap in memory is. “Did you really forget everything that happened?” “Yes. I did. And I can’t remember”, assured Reiner, with a stern, authoritative voice. Bertolt paused before giving the news. “We… Fulfilled our duty. As warriors of course.” Reiner squinted. “Care to elaborate on that?

“...We won. The whole Survey Corps were wiped out, with the exception of Eren. He agreed to use the coordinate in our favor. It was a complete victory on our side. You delivered the letter to Krista as promised, to which she accepted to join our side of the conflict… Our faction then expanded and we… got to build this house. Annie was rescued as well and she could be reunited with her father again.” He then concluded by the less convincing sentence ever pronounced. “And uh- That’s it.”

The silence between them was almost oppressive, between Bertolt, as he hoped to fill Reiner’s memory holes with his botched summary and Reiner, whose head was pounding with a milion of questions generated by his brain at the same time. Before the most obvious one came from the heavier guy, the taller one brought the answer for him “I can’t believe your lapse in memory is that big. How can you simply forget things on your twentieth birthday?”

“T-t-t-t- Twentieth?” He shouted, stretching every single corner of his face out of astonishment. Something definitely wasn’t right -no way his lapse of memory could be two and half a year long-. He must have gone in mindless state again, as the Armored Titan, one way or another. Unfortunately for his logic, things seemed too neat to be simply brought back from a regular titan, once again. “Shit- How the fuck...” Perhaps memory degenerescence was a valid condition due to shifting after all. Either that or it was simply another coordinate power. That’s it. Eren must have played a prank on him. It’s the only valid explanation.

“But none of this matters now!”, interrupted Bertolt “I wanted to wish you once again happy birthday… Sorry if you experienced memory loss...”

As another moment of silence came between the two men, Reiner was slowly connecting the dots, pinching the bridge of his nose, his thumb and index finger close to his eyeballs. Frowning his brows, he made his forehead ridges very obvious to the sight of anybody, to the point it was hard to dissociate anger from incomprehension. “Are you okay?” Bertolt was worried about his partner. “Yeah. I’m fine.”, reassured Reiner, massaging the bottom of his forehead with his two fingers before grinding them back on his nose. “Must be Eren and his newfound power playing a prank on me.” He sighed, then muttered slightly. “Fuckin’ wallers. Can’t believe they had something that potent in their hands.”

“...A-Anyway… I’ve prepared some cake for you.” Bertolt marked brief pauses as Reiner was trying to get up from his inner trance. “It’s your favorite cake… I- I know it’s not appropriate for the summer but you loved it so much…” No response. “W-Why don’t we go down upstairs?”. The lack of approval, or even any answer from Reiner was starting to be worrisome. Bertolt was reaching for his shoulders, when Reiner suddenly faced him, with a surprisingly serene, relaxed expression, revealing his gentle smile “Sorry.” As Bertolt felt relief, Reiner went out of the king-sized bed, wore the slippers nearby and accompanied his partner downstairs. He told Bertolt to go ahead and quickly took note of his surroundings in the room. It wasn’t lacking in furniture: the king-sized bed occupied the far left corner. Around it were located a drawer, on which a regular lamp was standing on. The photo near it caught Reiner’s attention: it featured him, Bertolt, Annie, Marcel, and a couple of other children smiling. The elders were standing in the background. Zeke in particular was very distinguishable with his pronounced beard and his set of glasses. Reiner noticed two closets, and a bedroom carpet. Several shelves were adorning the walls, most of them were featuring books -probably Bertolt’s-. There was only one bed in the room, though. Could it be the two of them were sharing it? Without asking more questions, Reiner rushed downstairs.

The living room was almost the size of their cadet dormitory. In fact, it was possible to picture it clearly, had the vast table and the kitchen appliances at the end of the room were removed. The room gave access to a balcony from which it was possible to admire the landscape. The kitchen was well-equipped, with a stovetop, a counter, various drawers and cupboards and even a freezing appliance containing the cake, probably prepared the evening before. As Reiner wanted to take a breath of fresh air, he opened the window and felt a soft breeze caressing his face, blowing his short hair back. Temporarily blinded by the sunrays, Reiner would soon distinguish the greenery of the mountain their home was set on. Diverse shapes, such as valley slopes, drew themselves at the horizon, while the nearby territory was covered in grass, and many, many edelweisses. The particularity of the scenery made him realize anything Bertolt told him was certainly the honest truth.

“Isn’t the weather beautiful today?”

“Woah! Don’t scare me like that!” Bertolt surprised Reiner from behind thanks to his commentary, leading the latter to scold him. “Sorry! I just wanted to tell you the cake was ready.”, he apologized. Before interrupting Reiner, he was making his way to the kitchen, retrieving the cake and heating it a bit. Once the candles were implemented, all he had to do was to lit them one by one.

“Oh, is that so?”, asked Reiner. “Okay then. Let’s see what our big boy here got from the oven!”, he expressed his curiosity in a manner Bertolt appreciated, making the latter blush. “I-I-Its on the table, hehehe...”

The fresh smell was so familiar to Reiner. In fact, he could tell in advance the cake was rather inappropriate for the season, and moreover, you don’t put candles on that kind of cake. It doesn’t change the fact it was his favourite, and Bertolt made an effort to bake it just for him. Indeed, that king cake, also called Galette des Rois in other countries, just brought saliva up to his mouth. “Happy Birthday Reiner!” wished Bertolt, once again.

“Wow, I… Thanks man. That’s great!”, complimented Reiner. Another blank marked a pause between the two. It would’ve been usually the time where either one of them was supposed to do something, aside from blowing the candles up. 

“...You aren’t going to kiss me on the cheek?”, asked Bertolt.

“Hold on, what?”, shouted Reiner. “Kissing? Like… Hold on, are we even friends at this point?”

“...So you forgot about that part too?”, realized Bertolt, disappointed and hurt. “You… you always gave me a kiss on the cheek or on the lips every time I did something for you since we returned each other’s… feelings.” The man who exhibited a cheerful face earlier now expressed pure disappointment, feeling as if all his accomplishments meant nothing, all of a sudden. Reiner raised concern for the taller guy, feeling like he betrayed him without even realizing it. “I-I’m sorry,I- I didn’t realized it right away-”

“It’s fine.” Bertolt interrupted him. “Just blow your candles.”

“Bertolt, come on-”. Without even watching Reiner, he quickly sat on the opposite seat, facing the window, not even bothering singing the Happy Birthday Song. The loss of memory was so huge, Reiner realized he skipped probably the most important part he was concerned about with his long-term partner.

It was true deep down, he started seeing him as more than a friend, or his secondary family. Because of his duty mostly and due to the drastic events, he could never figure out what made him so protective of him. The two were always drawn together in some way, so maybe he put the finger on it during these past two years? Shaken by the recent loss of memories, he riddled at his pace why the hell would Bertolt want someone like him as his partner. After all, he was convinced in his head he would be a terrible romantic choice, hence why hooking him up with Annie was the most favorable option. Why would the almighty Mr. Hoover pick some warrior who could be easily disposed of?

Maybe they both realized there was no Colossal without Armored. Maybe, as orphans, they wanted to rebuild their own lives. Maybe all they wanted was… To be together. All that mattered was, despite all the flaws in his overwhelmingly honest personality, Bertolt still accepted him. They both needed each other. 

It’s been awhile since the wind calmed down, letting the melting candles lit, risking the top of the cake to go to waste if the flames kept staying alive. Reiner couldn’t do anything in this condition. He had to find a solution as quickly as possible. There had to be something that could console Bert-

“...You were always focused on duty, weren’t you?” Bertolt once again broke the silence. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be mad at you. Especially if it’s a coordinate trick but-” He paused. “It hurts, you know!”

Reiner quickly threw well-meant apologies, despite them holding no chance to console Bertolt “I know, I’m sorry I don’t remember!”. He tried to buckle his full-honesty, gathering the fragments of his mind telling him how he truly feels about Bertolt. “Listen Bertolt I-” Everything felt so numb in his soul. It’s almost as if he was waking up from comatose for the very first time for years just to discover his sister got married with two kids. “I… I lo-”. It felt so empty. Everything was. How did everything went perfectly fine during these years? Where was the permanent tension? “I love you…”.

No response. Bertolt focused his gaze on his feet, raising his eyebrows and his cheeks slightly, to express sadness. “I see…” He stood up and made his way to the living room’s closet,, pulling a neatly wrapped box with “For Reiner” written on the box’s label. “This is your present.” Bertolt explained the nature of the box, on the most direct tone, so cold it managed to send a shiver down Reiner’s spine. After a long sigh, he headed to the garden. “I’m sorry. I need to take a walk.” Taking his shoes, he left outside, only giving the sad puppy face to Reiner as he left. “See you later…”.

On that bitter note, Reiner was left with only the half-melted candles and the unwrapped present, as his gaze was lost in the horizon.

He was being too honest. And it cost him his only source of happiness.

* * *

How many hours have passed already? Reiner was too focused on what was happening to count each second. When he came back to his senses, the light in the room dimmed greatly, the candles were reduced to a pile of wax, lying on an already cold, wasted Galette des Rois. The cake Bertolt worked so hard on lost now all its taste, all thanks to Reiner’s sudden amnesia. All that was left was the present, so at least he could’ve unwrapped it and discover what was the surprise Bertolt left for him. When he would return home, he would definitely embrace him, apologize deeply in his shoulder blade and hold him in his arms for the rest of the night. 

_[ >Unwrap the present (Jump to chapter 3)]  
[>Don’t unwrap it (Jump to chapter 2)]_


	2. NORMAL END

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How many hours have passed already? Reiner was too focused on what was happening to count each second. When he came back to his senses, the light in the room dimmed greatly, the candles were reduced to a pile of wax, lying on an already cold, wasted Galette des Rois. The cake Bertolt worked so hard on lost now all its taste, all thanks to Reiner’s sudden amnesia. All that was left was the present, so at least he could’ve unwrapped it and discover what was the surprise Bertolt left for him. When he would return home, he would definitely embrace him, apologize deeply in his shoulder blade and hold him in his arms for the rest of the night.
> 
> [>Don't unwrap it]

“Nah…” Against his own expectations, Reiner judged it was more respectful to just wait for Bertolt’s return. He moved away from the table, took back the cake on the kitchen’s counter and laid down on the living room’s sofa, trying desperately to understand why his memories won’t come back. If they were indeed stolen or modified by the power of the coordinate, there’s no point in trying to work all his synapses. Reiner didn’t even took the time to explore his surroundings. There was no point anyway: the sun was setting down. Exploring the area at night is by definition, quite dangerous. Besides, everything seemed quite different from “home”. Were they relocated?

He was also wondering why other villagers didn’t knock on their door. Where was the birthday letter of the war chief? Didn’t Annie send any passive-agressive present? Was Bertolt even himself? The whole situation was dizziness-inducing. Perhaps there was no point in explaining further.

Without pondering any further, Reiner got off the sofa, put his apron on and started to prepare an apology-dinner for Bertolt, using their provisions. They weren’t missing anything despite no farm around: meat, butter, some vegetables, even cheese. Reiner had enough ingredients and the necessary skills to cook something simple, but good. He was always the most skilled of the two for domestic tasks, often taking the lead and making sure his comrades would feel safe enough.

As he cut the vegetables in tiny pieces, he slowly began to recall the sensations he felt before going to war with Bertolt. He could tell from the progressive coolness the wind started to blow again. The sound made him remind these times near the abandoned district of Shiganshina with nobody except him, war chief Zeke and of course, Bertolt. Bertolt, who was his only anchoring point, reeling him back to the reality. The only fellow warrior who was willing to stick up for him, no matter in what risky situation he was involved. Reiner wasn’t completely indestructible. He was one of the rarest warriors who embraced the role of a tactician, as well as the one of an actor. As strategic as he was, he often rushed into action as he ran out of time. He was allowed to, as his thick, impenetrable armor protected his most sensitive point. Plowing into spikes, wires and even bullets coming in his direction? No problem.

They were times however, when his tendency could potentially drag him in his ultimate fall. And when he was about to, Bertolt always bailed him away from these situations. He was incredibly lucky to have him for sure. He realized at some point his harsh honesty was off putting, which didn’t prevent his cherished childhood friend to stick up for him till the very end. He never raised his voice against him. He never contested his orders. He never acted on his own without being sure Reiner executed his part first. He just… accepted him.

As the oil sizzled in the frying pan, Reiner realized how much he was treating him like shit because of his slip-up. The regret pooled in the back of his head at the thought of it. “I’m sorry Bert… I am so, so sorry.”, he whispered, his arms pressed near the stove, hanging his head down.

Other tidbits of memories fell back in in place: Reiner would recall how ridiculous Bertolt’s sleeping positions were, how hot his whole body was when he was wrapping himself around his arm, how cute yet noisy his breathing and snoring was and most of all, he loved watching that confident, angelic face of his when he was truly giving his best. “Don’t worry man. I’m gonna make up for how a shitty partner I was. I swear.” As soon as dinner was ready and the table set, he muttered to himself. “Come back please. I miss you...”

The surroundings darkened as the sun was disappearing in the horizon. The lights, who were already turned on, was probably the only illuminated point in the area. The source was probably made of the same crystal used for house lightning inside the walls. Reiner was casually waiting for Bertolt, sat in his chair, arms crossed. His birthday present at his feet. As he grew restless, he was suddenly raised on his alert position at the sound of the window sliding, and the voice he was longing for.

“Sorry Reiner, I’m a bit lat-”

Glomp.

It merely took a fraction of a second for Bertolt's return from a fresh walk to be cut short by a Reiner, who immediately tackled him as he stepped inside. “R-R-R- Reiner?” Bertolt’s cheeks were becoming red from Reiner’s sudden gesture. It doesn’t help he’s not even considering letting the taller man go. Instead, he sunk his face deep in his collarbone, trying to catch a faint whiff of his smell. “Sorry…”, he muttered while nuzzling the bottom of his shoulder.

As Bertolt was realizing Reiner’s feelings haven’t totally vanished, he reassured him by holding him back, embracing him, his hands gripped on the back of his shoulders. “I’m the one who should be sorry, I…” He approached his face on top of Reiner’s shoulder, slowly grazing his head against the blonde’s. “I haven’t considered your situation earlier…” He nestled his cheek against the skin, hiding his sight against Reiner’s neck. “I shouldn't have acted like that.”

“Don’t be! Don’t be.”, reassured Reiner. The two of them were staying in that position for a while, doing themselves good with their heat. For Bertolt, he would enjoy any sign of affection Reiner would give him. For the latter, it almost felt like an eternity he hasn’t held Bertolt like this. When they were finally apart, in a desperate need, Reiner shortened the distance between his lips and Bertolt’s. Fully conscious of what Reiner was about to do, he didn’t move a muscle and instead, let their lips touch, completing a soft kiss.

“...For the cake.” explained briefly Reiner, blushing, trying to focus his eyes away to not lose track of his actions. Bertolt, whose face was as red, let a slight “uh” escape before smiling back at his lover, glad he was able to keep at least their relationship in mind. It wasn’t long before Reiner diverted their attention to the lunch table. “Look, I made dinner for the two of us.”

“R-Reiner… That looks delicious!”, complimented Bertolt. The whole dinner was as simple as it could’ve been: the main entry, a rare steak, was accompanied with broccoli. A loaf of bread and a bowl containing minced carrot and salad leaves were put there as appetizers. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any dessert available, except…

“What about your cake?”, asked Bertolt.  
“I didn’t eat it. The candles were melted anyway.”, shrugged Reiner. “I didn’t know if it was still edible despite this so I kept it in the conservation box.”  
“It’s still edible if you scratch the top.”, explained Bertolt. “Even if you swallow a bit of wax, it’s not the end of the world.”  
Reiner chuckled, “Funny to hear you say that, Mr. Sixty-Meters Candleman.”  
Bertolt was taken by surprise by Reiner’s joke, immediately chuckling in response. Without waiting any further, they sat at their respective places, starting to eat. Here and there, Bertolt was complimenting Reiner’s cooking abilities, to which he brushed the tip of his nose with his finger while grinning. He made a casual reminder to get the king cake out and grate the top. He also learned there was some champagne available in the basket nearby, for later. While eating, they began a casual conversation about Bertolt’s walk outside. He brought up several details about the surroundings and the landscape. As the dialogue went on, Reiner couldn’t help but ask him this question:  
“Oh by the way, you haven’t talked to me about Annie. Or Chief Zeke for that matter. How are they doing?”

“They’re fine.”, Bertolt answered. “Why?”  
“Why “Why?”?” Reiner was puzzled by Bertolt’s reaction “It’s my birthday today, don’t you think they would’ve sent me something?”, he commented. “I know Annie doesn’t like me much but at least she sends me passive-agressive presents. And our chief, well… I think I got a card from him once?”  
“Reiner-”  
“Oh and what about Ymir? I know she wouldn't have forgotten neither of us. I mean, we got along pretty much meanwhile.”  
“Reiner, listen-”  
“Has she gone somewhere with Krista? I know they’re hanging together and touching each other’s butts but I think Krista might be just as disturbed as I am, sexually. I remember one time it seemed like she wanted to kiss me on the chee-”  
“Reiner!!”, shouted Bertolt.  
It took a raise of two octaves in the tall man’s voice to bring Reiner back to focus. He was so busy organizing a list of people who would barge in his birthday party to the point he completely forgot about their current whereabouts. “Ah shit. Sorry. I just… Got carried away.”

After a soft pause, Bertolt brought a short explanation. “They’re… busy.” Another pause. “I can’t really explain why.” “Don’t tell me they were all on vacation at the same time.” “I’m telling you, I have no idea!”

That was it. No further explanation brought. They weren’t there, for the most obscure reasons. Perhaps something happened during the memory lapse. At that point, blaming everything on the Progenitor Titan wouldn’t be that stretched. Bertolt was merely surprised by the thing his foot hit: the present box.

“You didn’t open it?”, he asked.  
The question drove Reiner on the track of the newfound conversation “Huh? No, not yet.” He was planning to open it at the end of the dinner, after he blew his candles of course. Bertolt was flattered by Reiner’s sense of respect and patience. He didn’t look like it, but he was able to be a real gentleman if he wanted to.

As the main course was done for, Reiner retrieved his cake while Bertolt looked for a new set of candles. Once the piles of wax have been disposed of and the top grated properly, the cake was heated a little. The arrangements have been made, leading Reiner to his twentieth birthday ceremony. Bertolt sang the happy birthday song in the most awkward way possible, making Reiner giggle like a five year old kid. When the song was over, he took the biggest whiff of air and used it to blow every single candle on the cake, an action that was truly worth an applause from Bertolt.

The cake itself wasn’t as tasty as it was supposed to be hours earlier, but neither of them minded that. Reiner comically asked if Bertolt put a charm in it, to which he replied it wasn’t the season. Between parts of Galette des Rois and the associated champagne, they spent one of the best moments of the evening, laughing at each other’s jokes.

Came the time to open the present. As Reiner tore the wrapping, Bertolt chuckled in anticipation. What came out of the box was a jacket and not any kind of cheap one. It was entirely made of leather, with a coat of arms sewed in the back. The one representing the village, usually given for warriors with the legion of honors, a reward for good and loyal services. “So… What do you think?”, Bertolt asked. Reiner wore it, admiring how good it looked on him. “I-I… blew away at least half a year of our annual income on it, so…”, Bertolt added.

Once he was done, Reiner headed towards Bertolt, giving him the smuggest of the smiles. The latter wondered why the one he was wishing happy birthday to left him without any response. As Reiner’s eyes were meeting his, he realized his intentions were more than good. He cupped his face, closed his eyes and kissed him more passionately than earlier. When Reiner maximized the contact between their mouths, he slid his arms behind Bertolt’s back, pushing him towards him. In response, Bertolt grabbed his shoulders and moaned as the kiss began to last. When it broke, Reiner whispered his compliments in his lover’s ear, before gnawing at the lobe “It’s perfect.” “I’m glad.”, Bertolt returned as his head was lying on top of Reiner’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna parade with this tomorrow… see what other folks will think about it.”, Reiner declared. “Now I’m kinda feeling a bit tired. How about we go upstairs once the dishes are done?”

“Already?”, Bertolt asked.

“Yeah!”, Reiner affirmed. “Besides, it’s too bad you didn’t put a charm in there. ‘Cause whoever gets it, well… You’ll find out in the bedroom.” The smirk on his face could only mean one thing: a thing Bertolt perfectly understood, to the point his face wasn’t only red: but steaming. “W-Wha- Wait- Tonight?! Like- In several minutes?!?”

“Yeah well, a king-sized bed is -often- used for that isn’t it?”, Reiner argued. “Besides, I wanted to make you feel better for ruining your day.”

“Reiner, this is your day, not mine!”, Bertolt retorted.

“Come on…” Reiner insisted, slapping Bertolt’s buttcheek with a firm hand. “You know what, I’ve decided we just skip the dishes, do our fishy business upstairs and just come back to wash ‘em and our bodies before going to sleep. How does that sound?”

“F- Fine!”, Bertolt blushed.

Thus concluded the day of a nice birthday night. Soon, the concerned and his lover would lie in their common bed, peeling each other’s clothes off and hump each other in a tight embrace, fully satisfied at the end. Their plans from tomorrow are purely improvised. They were both free from their duty as mercenaries and could spend days, years and even decades in the same state, isolated from everything. They faced hell, and their home was their place in heaven. Reiner definitely wouldn’t care if the days were repetitive. He even talked about some future plans about adopting kids or even becoming a local teacher. Something that could absolve him from war. It was one of the only and rare times where he was even happy, where he could deny he destroyed hundreds of lives in his youth.

_If only he could stay that way forever…_

-NORMAL END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations! You've reached the normal end! How about you try the other option? You might find interesting elements this time!


	3. TRUE END

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How many hours have passed already? Reiner was too focused on what was happening to count each second. When he came back to his senses, the light in the room dimmed greatly, the candles were reduced to a pile of wax, lying on an already cold, wasted Galette des Rois. The cake Bertolt worked so hard on lost now all its taste, all thanks to Reiner’s sudden amnesia. All that was left was the present, so at least he could’ve unwrapped it and discover what was the surprise Bertolt left for him. When he would return home, he would definitely embrace him, apologize deeply in his shoulder blade and hold him in his arms for the rest of the night. 
> 
> [>Unwrap the present]

No point in waiting any further. The birthday party was already wasted anyway. Casually, Reiner tore the wrapping, letting a huge sigh in the process. As soon as he opened the box, he could definitely identify the nature of the present.

“A… Jacket?”

And not any kind of cheap jacket. It was entirely made of leather, with a coat of arms sewed in the back. A coat of arms… way too familiar. Two crossed wings, one black, the other white, printed on a shield-like coat of arms. The pattern was also printed on the upper sleeves. It was...

“!!!”

_The Scouting Legion’s jacket._

“...The fuck? The fuck kind of present is that?”, Reiner was astonished. He was so flabbergasted he dropped the jacket on the floor. “What the fuck… No, Bert, come on. You couldn’t…”  
That jacket brought back memories, and not the best ones. It was the memories where he was forced to act like _them_ to avoid any kind of suspicion. To just fulfill their mission. Only the coats of arms alone was enough to make Reiner throw away. He began to feel uneasy as he was finally letting everything go away. He picked the jacket and toss it in the couch, far away from his sight. How the fuck could Bertolt offer him something like this? What’s gotten into him?

Once he sat near the living room’s table, he pounded his two elbows against it, massaging his forehead, covering his eyes with his palms and taking deep breaths, as his head was pounding like he was maced from the inside of his cranium. How could Bertolt think it was a good idea? He himself knew what this symbol represented and it was synonymous of their mutual ordeal. Marcel’s death, the downfall of the walls, Marco’s murder, their sudden escape from Wall Rose and the organized troops to retrieve Eren. None of that was worth of a “cute jacket souvenir”.

The more Reiner thought about it, the blurrier his vision became. No way it was supposed to be his birthday present. Maybe it was a prank. Maybe somebody swapped the presents and thought it was a funny joke to see a former warrior cringe. Yeah. That was certainly it. In any case, the present was a mistake and must be returned as soon as Bertolt comes back. Meanwhile, Reiner wanted to stock it in the closet in the bedroom. He picked the thrown jacket from the sofa and made his way upstairs, while mentally preparing a set of questions for Bertolt.

His birthday couldn’t get worse.

He set a hanger around the jacket, making sure to not look at the Survey Corps’ coat of arms, aligned it with the rest and slammed the closet’s door, sighing of relief and exasperation. He sat on the bed, turned on the lamp as the sun’s light was getting dimmer and dimmer and covered his eyes and forehead, his head hanging low. All he could think about was the color of the jacket. In particular Eren of all people. He must have manipulated Bertolt with the coordinate somehow.

“Eren, you must be sick. Sick in the head!”, Reiner swore to himself. There’s no way he wasn’t above this considering how talented he became in less than two months…

...Two months? For what exactly? What talent?

“Eren… Sick… Head…”, Reiner began slowly to realize something. “Eren…” He could faintly recall what looked like the Rogue Titan, on one side stuck in the wall, coated in a crystalline substance and on the other, the real Rogue Titan, in the flesh, with knuckles as his weapon, made from the same substance as… his armor. “Eren…” In the back of his head, he explored the sensations experimented that day: punches, throwdowns, kicks… That’s all he could recall about him. “H-Head… Sick…” And now that Reiner’s recalling more and more dormant memories, he could never really pinpoint Eren’s whereabouts. Instead… “Head… Head!”

_SNAP_

The lights went off.  
The surroundings were plunged into total darkness.

“Huh, what’s happening? Was that a power outage? Damn!”, Reiner panicked as he could barely distinguish his surroundings. He tried to move around the room, his hands being his only guide. Fortunately, everything stay in place. He then tried to turn on the lamp several times, without success. The crystal rock powering it must have had it. Indeed, when he shook the lamp, he recognized the sound of power hitting against the glass. It was weird though: none of the crystals powering this house were connected to a generator so… did they just… snap at the same time?

“Goddamnit, god-damn-it…”, Reiner cursed with his deep voice, then sighed. “Must have some spares downstairs.”

While Reiner made his way in the living room with the most cautious walk, he resumed his previous line of thought about his fight with the Survey Corps, where the picture in the jacket flew fresh in his mind. There’s no way they could’ve taken him down with low-caliber three-dimensional maneuver gear blades. So how and why? As he descended into the darkness that was the first floor, a sudden heat gained the top of his head, enough to give him another migraine. As he reached the living room, the sensation began to feel uncomfortable. But it was fine: all he had to do was to look for an emergency source of light, head to the bathroom and take his pills. He tried to look up for any crystal stone under the counters, in the drawers, but nothing. Perhaps they were stocked outside, in the garden. As he grabbed the window’s handle…

...The window wouldn’t budge.

“Ow- What the fuck…”, Reiner put more strength in it, even shook the window in order to open it. When it wasn’t enough, he charged against it, forcing his way out. Nothing could be done. The window was jammed shut, like it was a decoration. Not even the moonlight or the stars could help. What was previously a typical mountain landscape was now replaced by a black background. Impossible to distinguish anything. His surroundings were engulfed in the darkness. Reiner tried to make his way to the front door and when he found it, he was given the same results than with the window. He was stuck. Completely helpless.

“Hey! Bertolt! Open up if you’re outside! I’m stuck! Please!!!”, Reiner banged at the door, screaming for help. He screamed at the top of his lungs, even deepening his headache but nothing happened “Please! If you’re there! Help me! Don’t-” His voice became quiet and desperate “Don’t leave me alone...”

Feeling defeated and hopeless, he crawled at the bottom of the door, holding his head. It wasn’t long before the tingling sensation invaded not only the top of his head, but the whole part from the top of the lower jaw to his standing hair. He hissed slightly, like he was in pain. The feeling worsened as the area became itchy, like if a million of ants were crawling underneath his skin, he couldn’t help but feel like every single nerve was struggling to keep him calm. He tried to crawl back to the living room, scratching his head occasionally, then more frequently by the time he reached the lunch table. He desperately needed a painkiller right now.

He scratched at every corner: his ears, his scalp, his nose and even next to the eyes, unfortunately causing his state to worsen further. “Nngh, fuck, fuck, fuck, just stop!!!!” Reiner felt like every single connection between the cells of his upper head were crumbling as he ran his fingers on its surface.

_SCRITCH_

“Huh…?” Reiner was shocked by the sudden sound his body made, as if he suddenly pulled off something he shouldn’t have. He carefully analyzed the piece he held between his fingers with the touch. It was a bit rough on one side but hot and sticky on the other. The part of his head where he retrieved it felt hot, bloated, and throbbing, in fact a burning sensation soon invaded Reiner’s head.

“D-Don’t tell me it’s what I think it is…” Reiner questioned himself, but was well aware of what it was. I didn’t take long before some thin, short threads fell in his hands, followed by a hot liquid running down his neck.

“!!!”

Petrified from fear, Reiner just wanted to rush in the bathroom to check his state. As he took a dash to the door, his upper teeth began to hurt, and his eyeballs felt like two timer bombs ready to explode at any minute. In a lucid moment, he realized the bathroom lamp still had a usable crystal. As soon as he turned it on, he faced the bathroom glass…

“A-Ah... Aaaah… A-A-A-A-A-”

The whole top of his head was missing, leaving only his lower jaw exposed.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!”

In a cry of horror, tearing his vocal cords apart, Reiner was stoned by the disgusting image facing him. He didn’t understand how he was still able to scream despite his upper jaw missing, but one thing was very clear for him. It was no longer reality.

“AAAAAH!! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! AAAA- Gbhgblghbl…”

As he tried to let his screams go, he was soon prevented by the eventual decomposition of his face. His hair began falling down, followed by his upper tooth, then the eyeballs and the rest of the skin, painting his whole world red. When it was the turn of his brain and his skull, he briefly recalled how his head was blown apart by these weird gunpowder-powered spears and how he was completely taken by surprise by it.

“Ggglghl… Gbhgbhl… gglhl…”

Agonizing, he was hoping it would’ve been the end of this terrible nightmare. He started to lose consciousness as his brain was falling apart, alongside of the pieces who belonged once to his skull. It wasn’t long before his body fell like a worthless piece of meat.

_Everything went black._

 

* * *

 

“Happy birthday Reiner!”  
A middle-pitched, cheerful, masculine voice brutally woke Reiner up. As he slowly but gently opened his eyelids, he tried to acknowledge his surroundings, as the picture became less and less blurry at each flutter. He could distinguish the background and a silhouette of a person. That person’s hair was as dark as their eyes. Eyes who were, in comparison to the rest of the face, incredibly small and pushed back. The prominent nose and the facial features left no doubt about the identity of the one who disturbed his sleep.

“Please, wake u-”  
“I’m awake!”, Reiner shouted, still weirded out by what just happened. He made sense of the previous room… With a lot more changes than prior. The decorations weren’t the same anymore. It was a lot more sinister, with furniture that looked like damaged goods from the century prior. About the state of the room, it seemed like it was a refuge for wounded warriors. Nothing like the previous, peaceful atmosphere.

“Bertolt, what the fuck happened here?”, Reiner asked firmly.  
“Eh, don’t you remember I-”  
“Just tell me what the fuck happened, that’s all!” Reiner was, once again, in a confused state of mind. In this instance, he couldn’t recall what happened. He knew somehow, it couldn’t be real. The house looked like the same in his previous dream, albeit it being a more nightmarish version, which could fit to his state of reality except he never recalled moving in. All he could trust was the memories of his battle with Eren among the ruins of Shiganshina and his head being blown off. For sure Eren wasn’t among them this time. He would feel his heart beating at one hundred miles an hour as he tried to compose himself.

“Reiner are you ok? You’re sweating bul-”  
“I’m fine.” Reiner interrupted Bertolt’s concerns.  
“But you’re feeling unwel-”  
“I’m fine I’m telling you!”, Reiner hissed a warning, immediately shutting Bertolt down. It was the first time in his life Reiner roared against Bertolt this way. Intimidated, he knew something was up with him. “I-If there’s anything I can do for you let me-”  
“Get out.”, Reiner cut Bertolt abruptly, again, as he was clenching his scalp with his hand.  
“B-But-”  
“Get the fuck away from me” Reiner issued a warning. The very first he used against Bertolt. Him ordering his tall buddy to get away from him was truly the last thing he would tell him to do. His mental state didn’t help either as he clearly awoken from one of the goriest nightmares he had had. Yet something was up.

As he realized he was son unneeded, Bertolt changed his expression. His scared, anxious face let place to an emotionless one. As Reiner was turning around, his eyes met with his friend’s. He stared at empty, soulless black circles, devoid of any kind of sympathy. “I see…” the tallest let go with the coldest, monotonous tone, before heading back downstairs.

Reiner let a couple of minutes pass before letting his state return to a regular one. His breathing became less harsh and the entirety of his muscles relaxed. Enough tension was gone so he could analyze his surroundings better this time.

The more sinister room let a colder air pass between the cracks of the walls and the broken windows, to the point Reiner was wondering if he wasn’t transported in January rather than August. There were cobwebs between the wood planks and the books on the dusty shelves yellowed due to age. What was more intriguing was the photo next to the lamp.

It was definitely the same photo, with Reiner, grinning proudly in the middle. Yet something was clearly different. Most of the children’s faces were vandalized by a ballpoint pen. Marcel’s face in particular, was completely covered in black lines. If Reiner didn’t recognize the picture at first sight, no one would figure who the boy was. Both Annie and Bertolt were crossed out. The work done on Bertolt’s portrait in particular was savagely made: it looked like the responsible took it out on him with their pen; the corner of the picture was damaged.

Reiner laid in the bed for another couple of minutes, wondering for moment if anything around him was real again, despite holding evidence and a firm conviction it wasn’t the case. As he relaxed his head in the torn pillow, he tried to do the same for his mind. It was no easy task in this room, as he could draw creepy faces with slasher smiles with the holes inside the ceil, almost as they were mocking him. He closed his eyes, collecting his thoughts. Eventually they all came back to Bertolt and how he was treating him earlier. Reality or not, he never raised his voice that way against him before.

_What the fuck was I doing? This is Bertolt, for fuck’s sake!_

Knowing how Bertolt attempted to reason with him, he was just trying to help. Even if it was inefficient, the intention was there: he wouldn’t let Reiner down, no matter how sour the situation was.

And Reiner abandoned him.

_I should apologize to him later._

He knew he had to issue an apology to him eventually. The main obstacle was gathering the courage to say him how sorry he was, face to face. Still letting the time go by, he turned his face towards his childhood picture with his comrades’ faces covered in ink. “Hey lil’ buddy me, what do suggest-”

The younger Reiner’s expression on the photo changed. The huge grin was retracted to a more stern, cold and lifeless smile. Not only the smile, his gaze expressed a certain uneasiness, almost as if he was judging his older-self for his actions. Panicking, Reiner put the picture back where it was originally found and made his way to the living room, downstairs.

He was surprised to find a living room who was barely lightened by the faint light from outside. The back of the room was too dark to distinguish anything. Reiner adopted a more friendly tone to find his partner, probably hidden in the darkness.

“Bertolt? Bertolt, are you here somewhere?”

No response. The looming silence felt even more heavier than Bertolt’s previous passive-aggressive game, especially since the latter left Reiner hanging on the coldest, driest thread.

“Bertolt, if you are there, please respond…”, Reiner insisted, wanting to make up for his buddy.

_*Thunk*_

“!!!”

_*Thunk*_

“Bertolt, are you here?”, Reiner acted ballistic as soon as he heard and took note of the frequency of the sound. The source of the noise was indeed a tall figure, facing the wall. The light made him impossible to reveal their face, but with their size, musculature, protruding ears and pronounced nose, there was no doubt about the identity of the person…

“Bertolt!”, Reiner was relieved he was still in the house. He was apparently kicking something against the wall, repeatedly, on a regular rhythm. Probably a ball or something. The inclination of his nose made it seem he was fixated on whatever he was kicking. “Bert, listen. I’m sorry… About earlier I mean.”

_*Thunk*_

No response.

_*Thunk*_

The atmosphere couldn’t get as heavier than that, with each thunk adding more weight to it. Reiner tried his best to break the silence between the two and brought his honesty upfront, only seeking for Bertolt’s reaction “H-Hey… I really mean it. I wasn’t exactly cool with you.” No response. “I-I understand you’re mad against me. L-Listen. I’m not asking you to forgive me but… you tried, you know!”

_*Thunk*_

The lack of response alerted Reiner’s senses “H-Hey, you’re not even forced to look at me if you want. I just want to hear something from you. I-If you want me to leave for the rest of the day, just tell me. I’ll… understand.”

_*Thunk*_

Reiner just grew more and more desperate and needy for a single answer. Just an answer. “Bert just- Whatever happens, I’ll always be there for you. We’re inseparable, right? Remember how we promised to return home? Together? That’s right. Regardless of what happens, I’m your man and I’ll always be yours. So please!”

The loud thunks came to a halt as soon as Reiner finished his sentence. From his angle, Reiner could tell Bertolt raised his head, without facing him however. Bertolt broke his quietness with a monotonous “Together? Always?” For Reiner, that was a positive sign: he was finally acknowledged “Y-Yeah! Of course! I-”

“You said I wasn’t reliable.” Bertolt interrupted, pointing out contradictions in Reiner’s apologies.  
“N-No I…” Reiner protested “I mean yes I did, but not in demeaning way! I kept insisting you had potential in you-”  
“But you literally left me on my own this time.”, Bertolt’s tone was growing irritated the more Reiner was trying to console him. “Just admit I’m worthless in your eyes. That you never really cared about me. That you just used me as a props to your own glory.”  
“I- Fuck… I wanted to help you, I swear!”, Reiner felt his patience was coming to an end, there was no more careful, threading guy ready to deal with the boy he hurt earlier, he was making his way towards Bertolt, who standed the same way despite Reiner’s footsteps getting louder. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re saying but the only person in this world I care about the most is you!” He was practically behind him at this point, ready to grab his shoulder to have a proper face-to-face conversation “So quit the bullsh-”

“T h e n w h y d i d y o u l e a v e m e b e h i n d ?”

As Reiner cupped Bertolt’s elbow, he couldn’t feel any warmth from it. It was as cold as the surface of a polished rock in the winter. “!!!” Bertolt’s silhouette -or rather the thing that looked like Bertolt- turned his glance towards the smaller boy and was almost freezing him still, with white, gleamy eyes piercing him. His unsympathetic glare was almost accusatory. No. He definitely blamed Reiner for something he had done. The latter slowly back off, away from him, eyes fixed on him. Eventually, reiner couldn’t move away from him any further, his back pressed against the wall. That shadowy thing slowly approached Reiner, wobbling his body back and forth at each footstep, his target locked. As he was reaching an arm towards him, Reiner felt every inch of his body on stand? His eyebrows raised and tears pouring from his eyes, he yelled in panic “B-B-B-BACK OFF!!”

“R e i… … … n e r… … …”

“STOP!! WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE!! I’M TELLING YOU TO STOP!!”

As the rest of the room was getting darker, to the point of not being able to escape from it anymore, as the shadow was crawling even closer, Reiner heard a voice belonging to an older man, in the darkness.

_“It was too late. Bertolt’s done for. Sorry for not listening to your advice earlier about that ‘Levi’.”_

_What’s happening?_

The shadow began to stretch itself as the voice resonated once again.

_“A serum you say? Even if they stole Bertolt’s power, they still wouldn’t understand how to use it properly.”_

As the shadow englobed the whole room, white, shiny markings were drawing themselves around the gleamy eyes, following the bone structure and the muscles nerves of a titan Reiner was the most familiar with. Indeed, this white cranium tissue, this facial cross… It was none other than the Colossal Titan. The voice wouldn’t keep quiet.

_“Meanwhile we have to think about a counterattack. If Eren gets a hold of the coordinate, it’ll be too late. You understand this fact more than anyone, Reiner. They’re almost done for.” Only a couple of obstacles left and we’re going… to end it.”_

_Ha, what’s the matter… Even if we manage to get a victory… What’s the fucking point really…_

That’s when Reiner realized he basically lost everything that day. Everything. Bertolt was gone. They abandoned him. He abandoned him for good. He wasn’t there at the moment he needed him the most. Reiner grabbed his head with both of his hands as he shivered at the thought of Bertolt calling for help, alone, afraid, surrounded by enemies, tragically belonging to the long list of people who all took a brunt for Reiner Braun. A worthless piece of shit who was only left alive and kicking because of sheer dumb luck, without any outstanding talents.

“Hey!”

Reiner abruptly turned around to identify the source of the voice greeting him. It belonged to a child, specifically, a child who he hasn’t heard in years.  
“Marcel?”

He was unable to say if Marcel’s presence was relief or just the first sign things are going downhill. He moved a hand over his forehead, fearing what would be the next words coming from the smaller boy.

“It’s been a while huh? You look awful by the way. Did something happen to you?” Marcel casually engaged a conversation, albeit a one-sided one, as Reiner kept quiet. “You look even more awful than when I saved you!” Marcel progressively abandoned the occasional tone. Every single one of his sentences started to sound more like taunting than anything else. “Mmmhm, that’s right! That’s what our war chief told us: someone always have to bail your ass away. You killed me with your incompetence you know?”

Reiner frowned his eyebrows, grimacing at the boy, as if the latter was sticking a spear deep inside his guts. Every single jab made the taller boy’s hands cover his ears a little further, watching the smaller one making fun of him as titan crunch marks arose alongside his neck and his back. “That’s right! Maybe we should’ve let you get eaten! I’m pretty sure that shifter would be more useful with your armor anyway. What was their name… Y-Ym- something?”

“SHUT UP!”, screamed Reiner, eyes closed and ears covered.

“He’s not completely wrong, though.”

An aloof, feminine voice reasoned behind him. He was quick to realize the person was playing the same game. It was Annie, eyeing him with a thousand yard stare, an eye veiled by her thick blonde bangs. How long was this going to last?

“Why do I even have to bear with a crazy asshole like you are our leader? Why did I have to take the blame for everything when you’re the one fucking up everything in the first place?” Annie derided, on the most unimpressed tone. The deeper she was tearing Reiner apart, the wider her eye expanded. Torture marks also surfaced on her skin. “You never cared for me or my father in the first place. In fact, I bet you think I’m more useful to you dead than alive.”

Reiner wanted to justify himself so badly, arguing how he would make anyone better, how he wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes twice. He wanted to shout his feelings from the top of his lungs, but not a single response came. He could take as many physical hits without even flinching, but every single emotional one made his frail armor from his mind crumble, piece by piece. Reminding himself of the guilt, the hard decisions, the failed promises sent him to the verge of tears. Tears he desperately tried to chunk back. “Y-Y-You’re wrong, I’m…!”

“A monster. That’s all you are.”

What now? Another voice came from the side this time. Eren’s voice. Instead of the passionate usual inflection, it was the same as the one adopted by Annie. “That’s right. You’re just a monster, a murderer and a traitor.” As Eren was judging him, thousands of cries could be heard from all directions. Reiner could detect pain and agony in their voices. “Keep telling yourself you’re a good guy because you’re not. You made them suffer. You’re not human.”

_Just make it stop please! Make it stop!_

Reiner was clenching his scalp, trying to find an escape route from every single shadow surrounding him. There wasn’t any possibility left however. He was stuck in a trap that would soon close himself over him as every single one of them was starting to creep onto him. “...!!!” Reiner stumbled from behind, tipped over some kind of log then fell completely over. Turns out said log was Marco’s remains, who could deliver audible and understandable sounds, despite him missing a half. “I bet you enjoyed my suffering when you throw me to the titans, did you?”

_I did what I had to I did what I had to I did what I had to I did what I had to_

_“Is letting all of your comrades die in your place also what you had to? You weak, selfish monster.”_

Reiner was reduced to a shivering ball of muscles, face planted in the ground, doing his best to contain every sob that would escape from his mouth, desperately begging for it to stop. As every single demon was closing around him, they were all pushing him to end himself.

“Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die.”

_Why am I still alive at this point?_

* * *

 

As the death wishes were getting obnoxious, Reiner’s face was ravaged by tears. It all of a sudden came to an halt when he realized his neck and wrist have been tightly trapped between stocks. Although he couldn’t see it, he definitely pictured a large, angled blade hung above him, ready to cut his nape firmly and quickly. Is it finally the end?

“Looks like your never ending suffering is finally over!”, a feminine, soft, almost angelic voice rung through Reiner’s ears. Between his sobs and various attempts to shake the pain back, he recognized the girl in front of him.

“I’m going to help you as best as I can” Krista made the last preparations for the execution. An execution scene surprisingly empty. There was nothing here except

“H-Have you come here… to make fun of me as well?” Reiner enunciated each part of his sentence between sniffles.

“Well, yes and no.” Krista knelt down in front of Reiner’s head and began cupping his cheek “For starters, it feels like you’re in a confused state and need guidance.” She paused, then added, “You don’t actually love me, do you?” Reiner shook his head “You actually like the idea of me. You… were never the type of boy who got himself attached romantically to other girls I think.”

The conversation seemed too real to be part of a nightmare. Is that how it was going to end? Making the dreamer regret everything that happened prior and have a soft ending that will make him stay in eventually? So cheap and predictable.

“You forgot what you were…”, Krista resumed. “You forgot a lot of things, actually. Especially something you had to do for me.”

What did she mean by that? “Next time you dream about me. Please retrieve the item you had for me.”, Krista added.

Time was up. Krista picked up a three-dimensional maneuver gear blade around the guillotine. She knelt one last time, locking her eyes in front of Reiner’s. “Are you ready?”, she asked. Reiner nodded, not being able to let any word coming from his mouth.

“I… want to ask you for something.”

The voice Krista suddenly took dropped from several octaves. Almost if it was a mixture between her cute, girly speech and another’s. A boy’s to be more accurate.

“You need to close your eyes.” she resumed in her regular voice. “If you can’t…”

“!!!”

“...I’m sorry, but you need to prepare yourself.” There was no mistake. It wasn’t just the voice that masculinized, but the whole face as well. “Krista”’s face elongated, the bone structure becoming more visible, her eyes shrunk, her irises darkened, her forehead was becoming more prominent and her nose became larger in size and more arched. All these facial features left no doubt about the identity of the person…

“Ber-”

“I’m going to end this.”, he concluded, bringing the small blade up to the rope maintaining the bigger one. Reiner was living his last moments in the biggest lack of comprehension. It wasn’t the first time Bertolt actually pronounced these words. In fact, these were the last words he ever told him before escaping. As the blade was progressively making his way to the rope, he was recalling everything that happened till the present day: Mikasa blasting him away, her, Jean and Hange disabling him, Hange almost slicing his throat and his escape with the war chief. The events from that day were compressed in a one-second long movie, ending as the moment the rope was sliced.

“-tol-”

_SLASH_

Everything went blank.

* * *

 

Reiner woke up from his sleeping bag in cold sweat, panting heavily. As he was brutally brought back to the reality, he realized it was another nightmare, one among the other ones he has had these past days.

“Thank god it was just a dream...” Reiner reassured himself, wiping away the sweat from his forehead with his wrist. He took a deep breath while pressing his fingers against his eyeballs. This nightmare also gave him a headache and he barely realized he dampened his tank top with the resulting sweat. As he let a sigh, he undressed himself, grabbed the medicine in the left pocket of his pants and swallowed it with some water. Unfortunately for him, he hadn’t any spares on him, so that poor tank top had to dry up and bear his smell. “Man, just fuck...”

It was still late afternoon outside. They usually don’t move unless the sun had set and they still have a few more hours to feel better. The counterattack hasn’t started yet but Reiner feels like it was just a matter of time before the clues left by Dr. Yeager led the remnants of the soldiers to them, assuming everything goes smoothly for them of course. As Reiner has prepared himself to go back to sleep, a figure -someone-, was sleeping next to him. He tried his best not to wake them up but he felt like motivating them.

“Ready for our next mission, Bert-”

Alas, as Reiner laid a hand on the figure, it turned out it was just a pile of pants and jackets. Bertolt and him usually shared a tent, even the same sheets sometimes, when the nights were too cold so it was almost an habit to wake up the other and even have the morning -or rather afternoon- talk.

But tonight, there was nobody to wake up with.

Reiner faintly recalled how he and Zeke, as well as his colleague escaped from the ruins of Shiganshina, how Bertolt was done for and he wasn’t worth the risk to save, how he argued back they might have a second shifter in their stock and more importantly, he kept putting himself in his shoes: how frightened and powerless he was, how abandoned he was left, how painful his last moments were… The thought of not being there for him when he needed him made Reiner swallow hard, particularly when he kept associating his goodbyes to him with this. He hid his face in the sleeping bag, coughing, sobbing, feeling like he had nothing left to live for. Weren’t they suppose to return home all together?

_Reiner was truly all alone._

-TRUE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, you feel like this is truly over is it? How about I'm offering you a bonus to compensate as hinted in the text, specifically when Reiner was checking the surroundings of the house of his second dream layer?


	4. TRUE END - BONUS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The younger Reiner’s expression on the photo changed. The huge grin was retracted to a more stern, cold and lifeless smile. Not only the smile, his gaze expressed a certain uneasiness, almost as if he was judging his older-self for his actions. Panicking, Reiner put the picture back where it was originally found and made his way to the living room, downstairs.
> 
> ...He felt like he had to search for everything nook and cranny in this room, somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this chapter, you must have realized where I cut it from. Suppose Reiner finds a precious item and see how different this ending is from the true ending. A good chunk of the chapter is a straight copypasta from Chapter 3 but I suggest to read it to see from where the ending here derivates.

Or that’s what he would’ve done if he didn’t accidentally open the drawer next to him. Before putting back the picture in its place, he noticed a strange box inside the drawer. Its peculiar shape made him think of a treasure chest, like in old pirate books. There wasn’t any key so he could open it without any problem.

Inside lied a piece of paper with chicken-scratches in terms of writing. As soon as he consulted the name of the author, he recalled something very important. The objective clear in his mind, he stocked it in the pocket of his pants, having no jacket or any convenient pocket to stock it. It was now time to put away the pic-

“Ah!...”

Reiner was startled by the brutal change on the picture: Reiner’s eye sockets and mouths were all covered in black, oily ink, dripping on the rest of his face, almost as if he was foaming and crying it. Deeply disturbed by the picture, Reiner threw it on the ground, believing it to be no further than a bad jest. Once his business was done, all he had to do was to find Bertolt downstairs.

He was surprised to find a living room who was barely lightened by the faint light from outside. The back of the room was too dark to distinguish anything. Reiner adopted a more friendly tone to find his partner, probably hidden in the darkness.

“Bertolt? Bertolt, are you here somewhere?”

No response. The looming silence felt even more heavier than Bertolt’s previous passive-aggressive game, especially since the latter left Reiner hanging on the coldest, driest thread.

“Bertolt, if you are there, please respond…”, Reiner insisted, wanting to make up for his buddy.

_*Thunk*_

“!!!”

_*Thunk*_

“Bertolt, are you here?”, Reiner acted ballistic as soon as he heard and took note of the frequency of the sound. The source of the noise was indeed a tall figure, facing the wall. The light made him impossible to reveal their face, but with their size, musculature, protruding ears and pronounced nose, there was no doubt about the identity of the person…

“Bertolt!”, Reiner was relieved he was still in the house. He was apparently kicking something against the wall, repeatedly, on a regular rhythm. Probably a ball or something. The inclination of his nose made it seem he was fixated on whatever he was kicking. “Bert, listen. I’m sorry… About earlier I mean.”

_*Thunk*_

No response.

_*Thunk*_

The atmosphere couldn’t get as heavier than that, with each thunk adding more weight to it. Reiner tried his best to break the silence between the two and brought his honesty upfront, only seeking for Bertolt’s reaction “H-Hey… I really mean it. I wasn’t exactly cool with you.” No response. “I-I understand you’re mad against me. L-Listen. I’m not asking you to forgive me but… you tried, you know!”

_*Thunk*_

The lack of response alerted Reiner’s senses “H-Hey, you’re not even forced to look at me if you want. I just want to hear something from you. I-If you want me to leave for the rest of the day, just tell me. I’ll… understand.”

_*Thunk*_

Reiner just grew more and more desperate and needy for a single answer. Just an answer. “Bert just- Whatever happens, I’ll always be there for you. We’re inseparable, right? Remember how we promised to return home? Together? That’s right. Regardless of what happens, I’m your man and I’ll always be yours. So please!”

The loud thunks came to a halt as soon as Reiner finished his sentence. From his angle, Reiner could tell Bertolt raised his head, without facing him however. Bertolt broke his quietness with a monotonous “Together? Always?” For Reiner, that was a positive sign: he was finally acknowledged “Y-Yeah! Of course! I-”

“You said I wasn’t reliable.” Bertolt interrupted, pointing out contradictions in Reiner’s apologies.  
“N-No I…” Reiner protested “I mean yes I did, but not in demeaning way! I kept insisting you had potential in you-”  
“But you literally left me on my own this time.”, Bertolt’s tone was growing irritated the more Reiner was trying to console him. “Just admit I’m worthless in your eyes. That you never really cared about me. That you just used me as a props to your own glory.”  
“I- Fuck… I wanted to help you, I swear!”, Reiner felt his patience was coming to an end, there was no more careful, threading guy ready to deal with the boy he hurt earlier, he was making his way towards Bertolt, who standed the same way despite Reiner’s footsteps getting louder. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re saying but the only person in this world I care about the most is you!” He was practically behind him at this point, ready to grab his shoulder to have a proper face-to-face conversation “So quit the bullsh-”

“T h e n w h y d i d y o u l e a v e m e b e h i n d ?”

As Reiner cupped Bertolt’s elbow, he couldn’t feel any warmth from it. It was as cold as the surface of a polished rock in the winter. “!!!” Bertolt’s silhouette -or rather the thing that looked like Bertolt- turned his glance towards the smaller boy and was almost freezing him still, with white, gleamy eyes piercing him. His unsympathetic glare was almost accusatory. No. He definitely blamed Reiner for something he had done. The latter slowly back off, away from him, eyes fixed on him. Eventually, reiner couldn’t move away from him any further, his back pressed against the wall. That shadowy thing slowly approached Reiner, wobbling his body back and forth at each footstep, his target locked. As he was reaching an arm towards him, Reiner felt every inch of his body on stand? His eyebrows raised and tears pouring from his eyes, he yelled in panic “B-B-B-BACK OFF!!”

“R e i… … … n e r… … …”

“STOP!! WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE!! I’M TELLING YOU TO STOP!!”

As the rest of the room was getting darker, to the point of not being able to escape from it anymore, as the shadow was crawling even closer, Reiner heard a voice belonging to an older man, in the darkness.

_“It was too late. Bertolt’s done for. Sorry for not listening to your advice earlier about that ‘Levi’.”_

_What’s happening?_

The shadow began to stretch itself as the voice resonated once again.

_“A serum you say? Even if they stole Bertolt’s power, they still wouldn’t understand how to use it properly.”_

As the shadow englobed the whole room, white, shiny markings were drawing themselves around the gleamy eyes, following the bone structure and the muscles nerves of a titan Reiner was the most familiar with. Indeed, this white cranium tissue, this facial cross… It was none other than the Colossal Titan. The voice wouldn’t keep quiet.

_“Meanwhile we have to think about a counterattack. If Eren gets a hold of the coordinate, it’ll be too late. You understand this fact more than anyone, Reiner. They’re almost done for.” Only a couple of obstacles left and we’re going… to end it.”_

_Ha, what’s the matter… Even if we manage to get a victory… What’s the fucking point really…_

That’s when Reiner realized he basically lost everything that day. Everything. Bertolt was gone. They abandoned him. He abandoned him for good. He wasn’t there at the moment he needed him the most. Reiner grabbed his head with both of his hands as he shivered at the thought of Bertolt calling for help, alone, afraid, surrounded by enemies, tragically belonging to the long list of people who all took a brunt for Reiner Braun. A worthless piece of shit who was only left alive and kicking because of sheer dumb luck, without any outstanding talents.

“Hey!”

Reiner abruptly turned around to identify the source of the voice greeting him. It belonged to a child, specifically, a child who he hasn’t heard in years.  
“Marcel?”

He was unable to say if Marcel’s presence was relief or just the first sign things are going downhill. He moved a hand over his forehead, fearing what would be the next words coming from the smaller boy.

“It’s been a while huh? You look awful by the way. Did something happen to you?” Marcel casually engaged a conversation, albeit a one-sided one, as Reiner kept quiet. “You look even more awful than when I saved you!” Marcel progressively abandoned the occasional tone. Every single one of his sentences started to sound more like taunting than anything else. “Mmmhm, that’s right! That’s what our war chief told us: someone always have to bail your ass away. You killed me with your incompetence you know?”

Reiner frowned his eyebrows, grimacing at the boy, as if the latter was sticking a spear deep inside his guts. Every single jab made the taller boy’s hands cover his ears a little further, watching the smaller one making fun of him as titan crunch marks arose alongside his neck and his back. “That’s right! Maybe we should’ve let you get eaten! I’m pretty sure that shifter would be more useful with your armor anyway. What was their name… Y-Ym- something?”

“SHUT UP!”, screamed Reiner, eyes closed and ears covered.

“He’s not completely wrong, though.”

An aloof, feminine voice reasoned behind him. He was quick to realize the person was playing the same game. It was Annie, eyeing him with a thousand yard stare, an eye veiled by her thick blonde bangs. How long was this going to last?

“Why do I even have to bear with a crazy asshole like you are our leader? Why did I have to take the blame for everything when you’re the one fucking up everything in the first place?” Annie derided, on the most unimpressed tone. The deeper she was tearing Reiner apart, the wider her eye expanded. Torture marks also surfaced on her skin. “You never cared for me or my father in the first place. In fact, I bet you think I’m more useful to you dead than alive.”

Reiner wanted to justify himself so badly, arguing how he would make anyone better, how he wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes twice. He wanted to shout his feelings from the top of his lungs, but not a single response came. He could take as many physical hits without even flinching, but every single emotional one made his frail armor from his mind crumble, piece by piece. Reminding himself of the guilt, the hard decisions, the failed promises sent him to the verge of tears. Tears he desperately tried to chunk back. “Y-Y-You’re wrong, I’m…!”

“A monster. That’s all you are.”

What now? Another voice came from the side this time. Eren’s voice. Instead of the passionate usual inflection, it was the same as the one adopted by Annie. “That’s right. You’re just a monster, a murderer and a traitor.” As Eren was judging him, thousands of cries could be heard from all directions. Reiner could detect pain and agony in their voices. “Keep telling yourself you’re a good guy because you’re not. You made them suffer. You’re not human.”

_Just make it stop please! Make it stop!_

Reiner was clenching his scalp, trying to find an escape route from every single shadow surrounding him. There wasn’t any possibility left however. He was stuck in a trap that would soon close himself over him as every single one of them was starting to creep onto him. “...!!!” Reiner stumbled from behind, tipped over some kind of log then fell completely over. Turns out said log was Marco’s remains, who could deliver audible and understandable sounds, despite him missing a half. “I bet you enjoyed my suffering when you throw me to the titans, did you?”

_I did what I had to I did what I had to I did what I had to I did what I had to_

_“Is letting all of your comrades die in your place also what you had to? You weak, selfish monster.”_

Reiner was reduced to a shivering ball of muscles, face planted in the ground, doing his best to contain every sob that would escape from his mouth, desperately begging for it to stop. As every single demon was closing around him, they were all pushing him to end himself.

“Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die.”

_Why am I still alive at this point?_

_Ah. That’s right…_  
I still have.  
This.

As Reiner struggled against his current state of mind to fight back, he recalled the letter inside his pants’ pocket. The famous letter he was supposed to deliver to a certain person.

_I have to accomplish my duty. Till the very end._

Indeed, it was one of his secondary objectives at the time. Playing the deliveryman for a certain small, blonde girl whose whereabouts were unknown. Presumably held captive by the authorities for their bidding.

_I have to do it for her. I promised her._

Overwhelmed by the death wishes, he still mustered the courage to stand up. Rising himself slowly, he was determined to give her the letter in proper hands. For her. As he was elevating himself from a knelt position, he brandished the letter to the sky, without facing the shadows wanting his demise. A flash of light from above dazzled the surroundings and began to absorb the letter. Once it was completely vanished, so did the demons. Once the job was done, Reiner could stand on his two feet. The light disappeared soon after and the dark landscape was blown away by a gentle breeze. The grass that was absent previously magically grew under Reiner’s feet. There was still somebody who faced him. The person Reiner made a promise to.

“Ymir…”

She was standing right in front of him, in a long, white dress. The two of them met each other’s eyes, initiating contact for a couple of seconds.

“So you finally made it.” Ymir spoke first, adopting a neutral tone, neither praising nor scolding Reiner.

“...I didn’t deliver this letter by myself, did I?”, asked Reiner, who soon came to the conclusion the Ymir he was facing was no more than another figment of his imagination. The question prompted Ymir to move towards him one step forward.

“Well no you didn’t.”, Ymir answered. “You failed to do so, actually. You couldn’t even deliver something as stupid as a letter actually.” Reiner lowered his gaze, feeling beaten by his own sense of duty.

“Pretty pathetic actually. You had your enemies doing it for you. Marcel, Annie, Bertolt, me, Krista… how many people are you going to let down?” Ymir added, stomping on Reiner’s remnants bits of self-esteem.

“I guess… There’s no point in letting me alive, eventually.” Reiner admitted, utterly defeated. Ymir was advancing towards him, till they were only separated by less than a meter. “Obviously.” she argued. “Now, I think it’s time.”

Reiner paused, slightly worried. “Time for what?”

Ymir tried to lock her gaze with his, explaining her very last action “Time for me to execute what I should’ve done…”. Her pupils began to dilate, painting the whole eyeball dark, her hair was becoming messy and dirty, getting all over her face and covering her now-pointy ears. The worst of her transformation was her moaning as her teeth became large and sharp fangs. The mere sight made Reiner back off from her from three footsteps.

“FIVE YEARS AGO!”

Reiner was paralyzed by fear as Ymir was pouncing towards him. Before he could even negotiate, his whole vision field went black as his body was swallowed whole by this creature.

_CHOMP_

* * *

“...ner.”

This must be it. He should’ve been eaten by that small titan a long time ago. So maybe his previous comrades wouldn’t be bothered by a fool and an incompetent like him.

“Rei… ner…”

He could feel it. He could feel the rest of his body parts being dissolved into heated blood. He just deserved to rot after the treatment he applied to everybody. Happiness wasn’t anything he deserved.

“Hey Reiner, wake up!”

Reiner brutally opened his eyes, reddened and sore, realizing it was yet another nightmare. He yanked his upper body from the bed, panting heavily, sweat dripping all over his skin.

“Phew! Finally!”

He turned around to see who ripped him away from his awful yet bizarre nightmare; this pesky speech, this viper tongue could only belong to a certain freckled girl, probably the tallest beyond his former comrades. And she was standing right at the door.

“What are you doing in my room, Ymir?” Reiner asked, obviously bothered by her presence.  
“Checking you up.”, she answered. “You were thrashing around. I was actually wondering if by any chance you didn’t end drunk and started partying that early in the morning.”, she teased.

“Ha.”, replied Reiner, sarcastically.

“Besides, you were feeling quite unwell in your sleep.” She made her way inside the room, approaching Reiner slowly, causing the latter to stay on alert due to his nightmare visions. “Man, you’re even sweating bullets! Did Bertl rubbed too much on you or-”

“Don’t come any closer!”, he shouted in response. “S-Stay away I mean it!”. Ymir froze at his warning, eyes wide open. “W-Wow. What happened this time to push me away like this?”, she inquired, definitely curious about Reiner’s dream. “Did I crept in your room like that and eat you or something?”. The mean look he threw her was enough to tell her she was on the right spot.

“S-Sorry.” Ymir apologized, feeling honestly bad about what happened to Reiner. Ymir was a peculiar case. She wasn’t on any side of the conflict except the one able to keep her beloved Historia -also known as Krista by Reiner- safe. She and Reiner grew somewhat close during the time they were absconding from the walls. It all started as an apology for unconsciously stealing his childhood friend’s -Marcel’s- power. Then quickly devolve in a bond where they were feeling sympathetic to each other’s trouble, sharing many traits in common. The fact they were both the elders beyond the trainees helped somehow.

“It’s fine.” Reiner quickly regained his right mind, needing headache medicine very badly. “I’m sorry Ymir. About that letter…” he excused himself for not delivering the letter he was entrusted with for Historia.

“Don’t worry.” Ymir reassured him. “Most of these guys are Krista’s friends. Surely they will at least do this for her.” she lowered her head, muttering “I sincerely hope for their asses they will…”

“I really wish things could’ve been different.” Reiner was staring at the window, contemplative. “I mean, I know how much she was important to you.” he also wanted to cast away any suspicion of doubt about his personal feelings. “I was doing this mostly for you, not for me.”

“Come on…” Ymir left a remark. She was getting fed up with Reiner’s compulsory attraction to Historia, despite him being drawn to the sweet angel she was trying so hard to emulate. Maybe he needed generosity lately, hence why he acted friendly towards Ymir. The latter couldn’t help but live for others, as a compensation for how shitty and selfish she felt about herself.

“So, what gives?” Reiner asked, looking for his water carafe and his medicine. “It’s rare you’re coming just to check on me just because I had a few nightmares and throw my sheets away.” He soon noticed how dampened his tank top was and slowly took it off, exposing his abs and his chest. “Don’t tell me you came for…” He was looking for contact with Ymir, once his burly top was drying from the sweat, ready to tease her while complementing the results of his training “...these wonderful, well-built guns, were ya?”

“That’s gross.” Ymir looked at him in contempt, slightly amused at how Reiner would make fun of her by implying a sudden interest in men. Particularly hulky ones. “Yeah.” Reiner replied. “You prefer the puffy, squeezy kind, don’t you?”

Ymir chucked in response, before going back to the original topic. As Reiner was getting his pill and a glass of water ready, she opened the conversation “So yeah about your nightmares… It’s not that I wanted to check on you, it’s because I *had* to check on you.”

Reiner toyed with his pill in his fingers “Who send you?”  
“...Nobody.”

“Then why did you came for me then?”, Reiner was almost expecting the bad news to come, probably related to his recurrent nightmares. Once he dropped the pill on his pallet, he swallowed it with a swallow of water, letting Ymir continue.

“Reiner, it’s serious. You have to check on somebody for your state.” He gulped but quickly dropped the friendly smile. He then drank the rest of his water, sip by sip. “It’s been days and I can tell from the last time we met that your condition worsened. If you don’t seek any kind of help they-”

“Ymir, I must have told you over and over:” He dropped the fellow act and was standing on guard, like a threatened animal ready to bite back. “I. Am. Fine.”

Ymir wouldn’t give up. She would force Reiner to look for help considering how further his mental health was deteriorating. “Reiner. Listen to me.” He did, menacingly. “You were crying in your sleep. And this is not dust landing in your eyes, it was actual tears and sobbing. You’re past the point of being fine.”, she insisted.

Considering how his eyes prickled, maybe she was telling the truth. The thought of somebody witnessing how weak the reliable and trustworthy Reiner Braun actually was sent him on the full defensive “...must be your imagination.”

“Reiner, cut the shit for a minu-”

“Have you come here to fuck with me or wish me goodnight? Pick your fucking choice!” he hissed. Reiner, who was laughing with her about men abs a while ago was now feeling cranky and just wanted to be left alone. “Don’t you have something better to do?”

Now it was Ymir’s turn to jump on the offensive, her teeth grinning “Wh-What’s up with you? Why do you always have to put on the tough guy act to prove you’re better than anybody else?”

“Shut up.” Reiner was palming his forehead, growing annoyed and irritated by Ymir’s persuasion.

“Face it, Reiner. Since Bertolt’s no longer at your side, you-”

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY?!” he roared, his deep loud voice probably heard across the base. Hearing Bertolt’s name now became a huge trigger for him, reminding him of the most precious moments with him that will never come back, and how great he was in front of his good-for-nothing partner. These days, Reiner tried to cope by forgetting everything about him, as soon as Zeke announced him he was done for. He tried to suppress every memory so he could stay at least functional. It was hard to do so when his downfall haunted him every night in his sleep, how guilty he felt about being ‘luckier’ than him that day, how he will never see that determined expression of him again.

He was taking deep breaths as if he was trying to do the same as him that day: suppressing the part that made him care. Alas, it was impossible. It always bounced back on his sense of duty as a warrior somehow, and his brutal disappearance kept ringing with the numerous failures marking his record: he promised he and Bertolt would return home together. That alone wasn’t accomplished. The deeper he was thinking about it, the deeper it rang about his personal feelings for him. Was it love? Has he really fallen deep for his insecure innocent-looking face? He knew that, somehow he was fond of men. He never expected his long-term partner, that he considered as his family, to be elevated at the rank of lover. But now it was too late. Hell, he couldn’t even imagine how abandoned he felt, at the mercy of their enemies, probably treating him like bait for future shifters. Such was the harsh reality from warriors.

“Goddamnit. Maybe I should’ve kept my trap shut.” Ymir mumbled, watching Reiner with pity as he was struggling against himself to hold back his tears. He bit his trembling lower lip and stared downwards in the void, trying to swallow back his sobbing. Ymir felt he could crack under the pressure at any time.

“Reiner, I’m sorry…” she was reaching her hand when Reiner couldn’t contain himself anymore. Hot tears were streaming down his face. He let the pain on his heart go away by frequent bawls. He looked quite pathetic at this point that he wasn’t trying to save face anymore. He still didn’t want to call for help or even mutter anything to not, at least, sound like a tantruming baby.

I cannot believe I’m doing this.

Ymir sat down next to Reiner. She first made sure he wouldn’t struggle, then she wrapped his head around her arms and pressed his face against her bosom. As her shirt was getting wet thanks to Reiner’s tears and snot, she patted the back of his head. “There, there, pour everything you need, you big dummy.”

She knew how he felt. She went that way too when Historia was no longer at her side. Unlike him however, she accepted it. She knew Historia would be in good hands and that eventually she would see her again. All she could regret that night was not having her cute face sobering in her chest -and lightly punch her in the shoulder while calling her an idiot-. It couldn’t be helped the boy she was holding was also in the same situation. He too lacked somebody to be close with in the night. Whatever kind of activities they did in their tent at night, she was certain there was at least snuggling or nestling on the other’s chest or shoulder.

“Uu-Uuugh…! Bertolt… Bertolt!!” Reiner tried to pronounce his name between sniffles and sobs, while he was smothered in Ymir’s breasts. It was too much that night. He couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop. He was down for the rest of the night, unconsolable.

_Goddamnit Bertl, look at what you’ve done with your disappearance you big dork. You’d rather come back as soon as possible and make up for him, you hear me?_

Ymir was fairly optimistic on the question. She knew Bertolt was kind of a tool, but he was skilled enough to not get caught. If there was a possibility for him to live, she’ll take it. Maybe her distant words would have impended his fate. Who knows? One thing was certain. Reiner wasn’t definitely not going to look for help by himself. If he didn’t do anything, he would end up taking his own life away. Even maintaining him motivated became hard on the long run and it was a role Ymir couldn’t fill. She couldn’t do this by herself.

_Historia. Please, come back to me. I can’t do this alone!_

Misery loves company and no amount of good words would calm down these two people left alone in the night.

-TRUE END - YMIR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This is the end of the fic. Why Ymir you ask? Well, for several reasons: Reiner/Ymir grew up on me since chapter 83 as my BROTP and I feel like Ymir's interactions with Bertolt and Reiner are a bit underrated. I've seen so much fics with Annie as the third wheel, but judging how astute Ymir is, I felt like she was a much better option. She usually knows what's up. Also, her wham line just before Reiner's dream ends was supposed to be in a different font style, but screw AO3 I guess.
> 
> I know I've been a bit repetitive in some structures but I really had to rush it before the spoilers' arrival so I wouldn't be cut short by them, as I usually comment a lot on my Tumblr during spoiler week. Let's just hope Bert will make it to the end. I also left his fate ambiguous there, but judging by the implications, it's probably not good.
> 
> My main sources of inspiration were too many Horror RPG video-games. I have a knack for settings with a cute fluffy exterior, and a creepy, sinister interior. I really wanted to express how Reiner was using the Normal Ending to escape the sinister reality and his self-depreciation.
> 
> Comments are much appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the end of the prologue. You can either jump up to chapter 2 or 3, but if you want my advice, patience is the best virtue. You don't want to spend your birthday alone now, don't you?


End file.
